“It turns out that people laughing at your mistakes is a powerful learning tool.”
Last week, I emailed my parents (who don’t speak Spanish) a list of Spanish words that our toddler says. It was a fun exercise, jotting down his budding vocabulary and reflecting on how quickly our little “loro” (parrot) is growing up.
Part of me, however, is jealous of his brain’s capacity for absorbing language. Every day, he says something I’ve never heard him say before. Just this morning he woke up early, and I’m fairly sure he said “Papa, siéntate” (Papa, sit down). So I did and read him a book until he fell back asleep.
Seeing him learn languages has also made me reflect on my own learning journey, and the many mistakes I’ve made along the way.
Below are four of the most memorable ones, enjoy 🙂
¿Cómo vas a pagar?
In Spain they would sometimes ask “¿Cómo vas a pagar?” (How are you going to pay?). They want to know if you’ll be paying with cash or a card.
How the conversation went:
Waiter: ¿Cómo vas a pagar?
Me: Con tarjeta, por favor. (With my credit card, please)
The waiter took my card and swiped it.
Water: En Euro? (Paying with Euro?)
Me: Quiero pagar con dolores, por favor. (I want to pay with pain, please).
Both my wife and the waiter laughed in my face.
What I should have said
“Quiero pagar en dólares” (I want to pay in dollars)
¡Qué bueno!
I was taking a taxi in Barcelona with my wife. It was early in my Spanish learning journey, and I liked to chat up the taxistas (taxi drivers) to practice.
How the conversation went:
Me: Buenas tardes. ¿Cómo va el día? (Good afternoon, how is the day going?)
Taxistia: Buenas tardes… <fast talking Spanish that I did not understand> …con mi familia en la iglesia (with my family in the church).
Me: ¡Qué bueno! (how nice!)
I said this because I thought he was going to church with his family. The taxista went quiet and my wife didn’t speak for the rest of the short ride. Afterward, my wife told me that the taxista’s brother had died, and they were going to his funeral.
To which I responded, “how nice.”
It was definitely an embarrassing moment, made all the worse because the Spanish word for funeral is…funeral.
¡Que culo!
I was walking in the Mission district of San Francisco with my wife, practicing some Spanish.1
How the conversation went:
Wife: (says something interesting)
Me: ¡Que culo! (nice ass!)
The woman in front of us turned around and glowered at me, and my wife laughed in my face.
What I should have said:
“¡Qué chulo!” or, in Spanglish, “¡Qué cool!”
Los bichos voladores
After moving to Puerto Rico, I quickly realized that some words in Spain mean different things here… sometimes very different things. If you’re Puerto Rican, you already know where this is heading.
How the conversation went:
Gardener: ¿Te gusta vivir en Puerto Rico? (Do you like living in Puerto Rico?)
Me: Sí, excepto que odio los mosquitos y los bichos voladores. (Yes, except I hate the mosquitos and the flying dicks).
The gardener looked shocked for a moment and then started laughing in my face.
What I should have said:
“los insectos voladores“
In Spain, “bicho” is a bug, but here in Puerto Rico it’s slang for a dick. So I complained to him about the flying penises in Puerto Rico.
- My wife is and has been my primary teacher throughout my journey; I couldn’t do it without her!
Gringo Green 
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